Trust
by Kitsune Hashiba
Summary: [Yaoi][?xJ] When someone dies or goes missing, can you really pick yourself off the ground and keep going? When Jounouchi's boyfriend disappears after a train wreck... what is he supposed to do?


**A/n:** Nope, no notes this time... except that maybe the chars will be a bit OOC... tried not to, but it slipped in... not much though.

_flashbacks_

**Trust**

**Kitsune Hashiba**

Mix in the vegetables, stir a few times... finished. She looked over through the window, to see if he was still there. He was, as always. Picking up the meal, she walked outside to the porch, setting the tray on a stand that had only been there for two and a half years.

He didn't turn to look at her. He never did.

He never moved from his position - sitting on the railing, one leg propped up in front of him, the other dangling over the side. His arms limp to both sides, every muscle in his body lax except for his left hand. It never relaxed, just clutched that damned piece of paper tighter and tighter until she was sure that some day it would tear apart and maybe... maybe then he'd be free from this.

She smiled her sweetest, picking up the fork and holding it to his mouth.

When he was done, she picked up the tray, turning to look at him again before going inside. She asked her question, as she did every day. "Will you come inside for tonight? It's going to be cold outside."

No answer.

But she didn't expect one.

-~-

I can see him you know. Coming up the walkway with a sort of half smile on his face, picking me up for our first official 'date'. He's gorgeous walking in the sunset, and the perfect gentleman - at least, after we'd resolved our differences.

He was everything to me, the only one that could ever match him was my imouto, and she's family. Even my friendship with Yugi didn't mean as much as his love for me did.

We'd walk on the pier then. Go to the fancy dining restaurants that he knew I couldn't pay for, just so we couldn't argue over the bill. I always hated him for that, but then he'd tell me to save my money for my sister's tuition, and I couldn't help but give in.

We'd go back to his place sometimes. Touch and... we'd love each other. It's then how I'd like to remember him most. 

His kisses, passionate and hungry at first, to soft brushes across my heated flesh afterwards. The way he'd hold me close to him, like he never wanted to let go. He'd apologize, so softly I couldn't really hear it, for hurting me, even if he didn't.

We weren't perfect, but we weren't trying to be.

He loved me - his perfect form covering mine to press kisses along my neck, my chest - anywhere he could reach...

I... I...

I loved him.

I _love_ him.

He's not gone yet, because they would have sent word. Something to tell me that he's not okay.

But then... Why hasn't he come back?

He promised! He promised he would come back, and he hasn't! Why hasn't he... why hasn't......

My cheeks are wet... I'm... crying?

_Big boys don't cry._

Otousan always used to say that. Before, when we lived in that run down apartment in the slums. Before he came into my life and took me away from that.

I was afraid you know. I was afraid the one I loved wouldn't understand, that he wouldn't... But he did. He bought a place near his home for me and my sister. Because he knew that I wasn't ready to live with anyone else for a while. That he couldn't help me with my nightmares, where Otousan would drag my imouto in by her hair and...

But Shizuka could. Knowing she was safe, and with me always...

And he noticed, and gave me my space. Because he wanted us to be together in the end, whether he'd admit it or not. Guys never were ones for mushy stuff, and I didn't really want him to be.

I knew... I knew that I would love him no matter what happened now. That I didn't love him for his money, or for his good looks, or even for who he was. I love him because he is. It wouldn't matter if he changed, if he was something different. I wouldn't like it maybe, but I would stand by him.

And because of that...

Because he means so much to me...

Because I couldn't go on without him...

I'll continue to wait, until he comes back for me.

Because he will.

I know it.

-~-

"O...nii...chan?"

Nothing as usual. He refuses to stir, his eyes always fixed on that road before him. He's been there over a year now, ever since the Tokyo Train Incident. Ever since he left...

He hasn't spoken to me, his sister. His imouto... If he could, he probably wouldn't blink either. I can still remember the day it happened. We were sitting at the table, eating breakfast as he opened the newspaper so we could share the comics together. Laugh together like every morning.

I haven't heard him laugh for a long time now. Not even the haughty one he would sometimes use when he thought that he would easily win against an opponent.

But that day... He didn't even tell me at first, just ran to the phone and dialed. A few curses and he hung up and tried to dial the right number.

I remember the article too. The one that's now glued to his left hand it seems. 

193 on the train - 156 dead. June 8th.

He could very well be one of them. But we don't know. Nothing in the papers, no phone call.

I think that's what tears my brother up the most.

He would've called.

-~-

_But he didn't._

_He would've called, but instead there was nothing. I tried again, even though it had been a few days since the wreck. But there was nothing._

_His cell must have been ruined during the crash, and instead of calling, he's probably coming back like he said he would. Coming back to surprise me._

_So I'll go outside, and wait for him._

_Because he'd wait for me too._

I don't know when I'd grabbed the paper now in my hand. I just remember coming out here to wait for him. 

Because he's coming. I know it.

-~-

Our friends came by of course. One by one, they tried to get through to him.

Most of them went away crying.

Even Mai came by - more often than the others in fact.

We'd have tea in the kitchen, and look out the window to see him still sitting there.

I think, by the way she talked about him, that she may have been in love with him at one point in time.

But she knew she had no chance - not after he had made his way into my brother's heart.

They all came to talk to me, to check up on me and Oniichan, to make sure we would be okay.

We'd have lunch together - Yugi making the drinks, Anzu and I cooking the meal, and Honda making his surprisingly wonderful desserts. We'd go out on the porch, and I could feel their eyes on my back as I hand fed my older brother his plate.

But it never changed a thing.

He still wouldn't move. Just sit there and wait.

Seven months later, they stopped coming.

-~-

They tried to pick me up once. The people from the loony bin...

I suspect it was Anzu that called me in.

But don't you understand? It wouldn't have helped a thing. I wouldn't go, because he wouldn't be there...

Shizuka stopped them.

She stood up for me, after all this. She moved to stop them when I couldn't.

I love her so much.

-~-

"I'm getting married... Next month, in April. I always wanted a spring wedding, remember that Oniichan?" His head falls back onto the wall behind him, but I know his eyes are still watching behind me, over my shoulder to the street.

He doesn't remember... he used to be so protective of me... if anyone so much as looked at me wrong, he'd beat them up without a thought.

"I was hoping... you'd come... and give me away..." I can feel myself crying now. It's not fair! How could someone do that to him! "But... I'll still be here every day. She's promised to get an apartment near here so I could... she cares too you know. They all still do."

"And..." He blinks. "If you can't come to the wedding... we've agreed to have it here. So you could watch." I give him a hug, a kiss on the cheek before going back inside. Mai will be here soon to pick me up - we need to pick out a dress for me still.

-~-

He didn't move even then. The happiest day of my life... was also my saddest.

To watch my brother, unmoving, as I wedded my one true love...

I was crying as we kissed, officially married before all the world.

-~-

It hot - unbearably so... it's been three years since he left... but never once during those summers was it ever this hot.

A flicker of orange out of the corner of my eye.

Fire.

That's why...

I should be moving. Away from the flames, as they are already much too big to put out.

But I can't.

My muscles won't obey me anymore.

And I don't want to.

I'll wait for you, love... I'll wait...

".....ko..........ish.....ii....."

-~-

I make my way through the halls, my usual rounds.

But for once - instead of a still body upon a bed - there's someone there sitting up.

"Oh! You're finally awake... What's your name?" I look through the packet hanging on the door. "We couldn't find any information on your person after the crash, but we didn't want to give up hope..." I give him a glass of water as he tries to talk. He's been here for three years, the poor dear, and being in a coma won't keep his voice in check for that long...

"...Wh...what... d....ay... i...is.... it...?" He tries to get up, but I can't let him - he's not nearly well enough yet. 

"It's June 12th." He struggles anyways, but not enough to throw me off. His muscles have deteriorated, making it easy on my part to keep him down until he relaxes. 

I fluff his pillows a bit, make it more comfortable. "Could I have your name?" But he's already fallen asleep - exhausted from trying to escape his bed. I suppose it could wait then.

-~-

I've finally been deemed well enough by the nurses to leave - they wouldn't even let me phone Jounouchi. He'd be worried, there was an accident and he didn't hear from me for four days afterward.

My cell phone is missing - probably destroyed - and I have no money on me to make a phone call from a phone booth.

I go up to the counter to catch a plane back home - tell them to draw the money from my account.

I'll just have to surprise him then.

"Name please?"

"Ryuuji Otogi."

I hope he waited for me.

-------

_-~-There's not always a happy ending-~-_


End file.
